


Day 7: Peter Parker Can't Bake

by MsCaptainWinchester (rons_pigwidgeon)



Series: 12 Days of Spideypool Christmas [7]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Christmas Cookies, M/M, Peter Parker is a Walking Disaster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 13:44:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17245295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rons_pigwidgeon/pseuds/MsCaptainWinchester
Summary: As the title states, Peter can't bake. When he locks himself out of his apartment with cookies still in the oven, his hot new super comes to his rescue.





	Day 7: Peter Parker Can't Bake

**Author's Note:**

> Despite being the set-up for a porn, there sadly wasn't enough time to write it today. I promise, porn is coming. Eventually. 
> 
> ~~To that end, I didn't even read this one over before posting. I'll edit any typos later.~~ Now fully edited!

“The cookies are in the oven, I promise. I’m not a complete walking disaster,” Peter assured his aunt, his phone wedged between his shoulder and his cheek as he dragged the garbage out into the hall to put down the shoot.

“ _ _I don’t think you’re a walking disaster, Peter. I just think you inherited your father’s inability to boil water. It’s not your fault.__ ”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence. I’ll send you a pic when they’re done to prove how good I am at baking,” he told her as he opened the little door in the wall and shoved the bag into the shoot. It made a loud clattering noise as it tumbled down to the basement. Peter didn’t envy his across-the-hall neighbors for having to hear that at all times of the day and night.

“ _ _I look forward to trying them,__ ”May replied, but Peter knew it was her lying voice.

“Bye, Aunt May,” Peter said, a little louder than necessary to let her know he was onto her lies. He ended the call after hearing her reply and went to open his apartment door again. The handle wouldn’t budge. He looked down at it in disbelief and wiggled it a few times, but it still didn’t budge.

“What the fuck…?” he muttered, trying again. And then it hit him. “Oh fuck.” The landlord had replaced all the locks in the building with automatic locks last week as an extra safety measure—really as a way to charge more rent, Peter suspected. And a protective measure he’d completely forgotten about.

“Fuck!” he cried, pounding his fists on the door as if that might help. He pounded again, too loud, but at this point he didn’t care. He didn’t even have the super’s number in his phone. They’d gotten a new one the month before, and Peter hadn’t programmed the new number into his phone yet.

The door to the corner apartment opened and an annoyed voice called into the hallway, “For fuck’s sake, I’m trying to meditate. If someone isn’t getting their ass kicked, I’m gonna be pissed—” His neighbor abruptly cut off when he spotted Peter with his fists resting against his front door and his forehead pressed to the wood between them, his defeat likely visible to the other guy.

Peter hadn’t met this neighbor yet and was surprised by just how big the guy was. A few inches taller than Peter, but twice as wide, with giant shoulders and biceps the size of Peter’s head. Peter felt his mouth water looking at him, and momentarily forgot all about his cookies. Why hadn’t anyone told him a hot guy moved in down the hall? Evelyn was holding out on him.

“I take it back. Someone this pretty shouldn’t be getting their ass kicked. Who wronged you?”

Peter blushed, both from the compliment and because he suddenly remembered why he’d been pounding on his front door. “I uh… forgot about the automatic locks?” he said.

The guy froze in the doorway to his own apartment, looking at Peter like he was both the sun and stars, but also maybe stupid. “Okay, understandable. Why didn’t you call?”

“I don’t have the new super’s number in my phone yet. I also might have panicked because I have Christmas cookies in the oven, and they were only supposed to be in there for 10 minutes. They’re gonna burn.”

“Then, you’re in luck. Be right back.” Neighbor-guy turned and walked back into his apartment. Peter tried the door handle to his own door for a final time while he waited, as if that might be the time the handle turned. It wasn’t.

The door down the hall opened again and Neighbor-guy stepped out with a giant key ring packed full of keys. He fiddled with the ring as he approached Peter, and finally came up with one and held it out. “Step aside, gorgeous. I’ll handle this.”

“Are you the new super?” Peter asked as he stepped back. It was dumb to ask given how obvious the answer was, but he was having a hard time getting his brain to work properly with so many muscles on display under such a tight t-shirt.

“Wade Wilson, at your service. If you’re 306, you must be… Peter?” Wade unlocked the door and turned to shake Peter’s hand, but the smoke alarm going off caught both their attentions, and Peter rushed into the apartment.

“Fuck, I told my aunt I could bake cookies without fucking them up. She’s never going to let me live this down,” he said as he pulled the door open and tried to pull the cookie sheet out without an oven mitt. He dropped it immediately with a yelp and tried to shake the pain away.

Gentle hands pushed him back and his view of the oven was obscured by a massive back. “I’ve got this. You put those fingers under some cold water. The last thing you need is to end up looking like me.”

Peter did as instructed with a frown, not sure what the guy was talking about. But as he watched Wade pull the baking sheet out with an oven mitt and set it on the stove top, he registered the scars that ran up the back of the guy’s neck and covered his head. He’d been too focused on the sheer size of the guy before, but now that he was looking, it was amazing that he hadn’t noticed the scars before. Wade turned the exhaust fan on and waved some of the smoke towards the fan, covering his hand with his mouth to filter to what he could. Now that Peter was really looking at him, he saw that his face was scarred as well, less so than the back of his head, but still obvious to the point of distraction.

Despite them, he was still extremely handsome. Peter found himself unable to figure out what to do with himself under Wade’s gaze when their eyes met. He blushed and looked down at his hand, bright red and stinging like crazy under the cool water.

“Maybe baking isn’t for you,” Wade said, suddenly standing right next to Peter and taking his hand out from under the water to get a look at the damage.

“I’m a walking disaster, I know. It’s a miracle I haven’t burned the entire complex down.”

“Don’t do that. I just got my sound system set up the way I like it.” Wade smiled at him over his hand, and that close, Peter got a little lost in the golden brown of his eyes.

“Maybe you should supervise,” he said without thinking. Fuck, he never had a filter around hot guys.

Wade raised his bare eyebrow with a soft smile. “If you’re sending out an invitation, I’d be happy to.” He pressed a kiss to the raw skin of Peter’s finger pads, sending heat up Peter’s spine. This was a terrible idea. Absolutely a terrible idea. You didn’t fuck your neighbors if you didn’t want to have to spend the rest of your lease darting around corners to avoid them out of shame, especially if that neighbor is also your super.

Peter shoved all that to the side around the time he stretched onto his toes and pressed his mouth to Wade’s. As Wade’s giant arms wrapped around him and picked him up off his feet to set him on a kitchen counter, he didn’t regret the choice.

-

Later that night, he sent May a picture of the cookies successfully baked and an announcement that he was bringing someone to Christmas.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want writing updates from me, you can follow me on Twitter [@RonsPigwidgeon](https://twitter.com/RonsPigwidgeon), Tumblr at [MsCaptainWinchester](https://mscaptainwinchester.tumblr.com/), or Pillowfort at [MsCaptainWinchester](https://www.pillowfort.io/MsCaptainWinchester).
> 
> And if you'd like to come yell about Spideypool with me, join the 18+ Discord server I co-mod, [Isn't It Bromantic](https://discord.gg/cfZEbNv)!


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